November 28, 2002

Fan-mail of the week:

I want to live in a universe where Carson Daly is sitting alone in his apartment pacing the floors and lighting unfiltered after unfiltered just because Tegan won't return his phone calls and P-Diddy is shifting uncomfortably in the chair in his studio, checking a diamond encrusted Rolex that's easily worth more than the Gross National Product of (Insert Third World Nation here) and muttering, "Damn, Sara said she'd be here an hour ago to remix this Muthaf--ka!".

But of course, Tegan won't return Carson's calls because she's too busy receiving emergency medical treatment for the carpal tunnel disease she has contracted from trying to lift the heft of all the multi-platinum CD's that she's hanging on the walls of her apartment. And besides, privately she questions Carson's choices in women (Tara Reid? Love Hewitt?)

And Sara will keep La Diddy waiting at least another 45 minutes because her lunch with Donatella Versace is running long and Kon-Tiki, her pet Llama on the grounds of her sprawling estate has taken ill, and, of course, there's the matter of the deposition in her much publicized shoplifting trial.

After having seen Tegan & Sara open up for Ryan Adams in San Francisco and then buying their CD, I have determined that this is the only universe worth living in. Who wants to join me? --Patrick

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